Dear Diary,

Baby has been so busy and I have not been in any help. I am like a log listening to his woes everytime he talks about work. What can I do? And he will end up looking for someone else to assist him, that can give him so many more ideas in life. I am so useless. He don't need me at all.

I became so negative that I keep on telling myself that someday he will find his own way out. He is independent and he know what he wants. I know I have been in a very negative mindset but I don't want it to affect him. Go ahead.. just go and do your own things and leave me alone.. cause I really can't picture myself being the one beside him when he is successful one day.

I hate this awful feeling right now. So unsure and feeling so insecure. I am so lost and lonely. I hate this feeling. I hate being in such state that I feel so crippled. I hate myself, and I keep feeling sorry for myself. I feel myself in a fish tank. He comes around and tickle me when he is free, drop some food and left me all alone after that. I have two dogs, and they are giving me problems at home too.

Can I move out and survive on my own with my two little dogs? I feel like going oversea and live alone without letting anyone know. Then, I will bring my two rascal and spend all the time I want with them.

I need a break. I think its time I sort out my thoughts and see clearly of what I really want. I'm so lost now. I hope i'm not taking things for granted and I will start counting my blessing.

Niki threw up this moring twice. Wintee barked loudly, thrice. I tried canning him, and was on muzzled and he growled at me. Sigh...

Everyone in the house was waiting to use the toilet, and I was running late. I ran to the bus stop and cut my toe. What else is more unfortunate than just 2 hours and so many things happened? Totally not my month.