Wednesday's Love!

I was home slightly earlier today because the bus was fast. Went home to wait for baby to knock off from work. I shall let the photos do the talkings; :D

Aww.... look at his eyes! <3

And the two just keep snatching toys.

T.T

And now they abandon their toy for treats..

*wait until sian* face...

*wait until sian* face also...

And I brought them out to the corridoor to run run.

They are so happppppy!! <3

And I keep saying "Niki who's back?" and he'll turn to look at the entrance way...

I tricked him a few times, and just then....... BABY's HERE!!

They both stunned for a while, and they ran their fastest speed towards baby! See how much they liked him!! *smile* And I should've taken it down via video! Tsk*

Baby and I went for Dinner at Pizza's.

And we went home zzz.

Nothing much for a mid week like this.

Niki and Wintee just can't stop playing. I feel that Niki's getting more active nowdays as to compared to those days when he just came to us, blur and innocent look, and bo chap in everything... Now he's more kpo. LOL!

And Niki keep disturbing baby sleeping cuz he wants to sleep with him........

See how much fun I had at home with the two three around?
Love them all! <3

Delivery Boy - Niki !

I brought Niki out yesterday and he was so excited. Its been a long while since we went out alone. :) But it would have been better if Wintee were able to come along, but I knew I couldnt handle two together especially this kind of time, evening.

The busy boy keeps looking through the windows while we were on cab. We went delivering the goods for Joreen first, then to doggiestyle cafe.

YEAH. all the looooooots from BKK last week. :D

We wanted to head down NEXX (Doggiestyle Cafe) for some fun and shopping initially, I was thinking of getting their dinner there, plus shop for their kibbles, treats and milk milk since it's on offer now. But ended up stayed slightly longer at Joreen's place.

Niki wants to play with Twinkle! But I guess Snoopy's bark made him so timid. Niki stood still when Snoopy barked at him. So we didn't stay really long, probably a 20mins? And I went to see Honey in the urn. I can still feel the ache in Joreen's heart actually when she talked about her.

So I headed home around 8.30pm?

 

 Niki was tired by then althought it was only a short chase with Twinkle.

Reflection.

Sorry I have to rant these out.
It will be a few grumpy posts but please bear with me....... I just need a space to park my thoughts and i'll be okay in awhile.

Yui pointed out something which is darn true: "If you just cannot make it back home, tell me. I can find my own stuffs to do but of cuz I will be unhappy because you put me aeroplane but I just wat to know what are your plans and I am important enough to be informed"

And I really didn't like the idea of you having to entertain me when you are out because I don't want to look as if I am needy to you and your friends. I don't want to make your friends feel that I am so attached and you got grounded by me.

Sighs.... I think we need more time to align our thoughts.

Over Reacting

Am I?
Or all the girlfriends are like that?
Is this something considered overboard?

You judge.
At my point of view, I felt so left out, unwanted, unimportant.

The supposingly lunch session became an evening thing without me knowing, and extended itself through the night at a drinking bar. And I can do nothing but to wait at home for his return to go dinner together.. I don't even know if he have eaten, so I waited for him. I don't know what time he'll be back, neither do I wish to press him for a curfew. And so I waited. He texted me, saying that he was in the toilet, AND I THOUGHT HE WAS DONE, COMING TO MEET ME SOON but I found myself lying to myself. He went to lilys after 6pm.

And how the hell would I know that a drinking session will last till 1am?

He keep telling me he misses me and love me but end up still getting stucked at the bar, how much can I believe at that point of time? Drinking with his friends and hanging out... If that is the case, I'd rather he not call me to REMIND me that he is still outside!

The evening weather was so good for a walk and I thought he'll come back early to me. But no. I was so worked up that I know anytime I could scream at him over the phone to get his ass back here right now! But I didn't. I try calming myself down and told myself that I gotta be independent. I don't need him to survive and I can handle myself... And I don't know why he keep insisting that I'm angry over his friends. That gets to my nerves! And I blew up right at his face!

I begged him to ignore me for that moment but he rejected and wanted an explaination. Seriously, I couldn't control my emotions at that point of time. How? We keep talking through the phone, he couldn't hear me properly, and he didn't wanna come back now. I felt so disappointed cause no matter how much I explain, he is still with his friends, so Why Talk Now? But he didn't wanna get over with it and insisted to talk things out. I didn't like it.

Sigh... I don't know how to make him understand that it's not that I forbids him to go out with his friends, but at least inform me that he won't be coming back and won't be meeting me so that I don't keep waiting..

He ask me Why didn't I clarify with him earlier. And to be frank here, I didn't want to because I don't wanna sounds like I'm restricting him, controling him to that extend and ask him why this and why that. Also, I was feeling a bit upset already when he didn't text me after he went out........it left me feeling so unimportant! And I knew my words are not gonna be nice if I did talk to him so I chose not to. Lastly, a little part of me also didn't wanna hear the answer actually.......

I don't know how many girls does the same, but for me............... I tend to think a lot and bottle my feelings up. Am I wrong?

I wanted to do something to spike him actually. Go for a movie, shopping or ktv........ or worst, to Ginza ALONE. I have that revengeful thinking of wanting to let him feel how awful it felt to have your partner 'abandon' you for other stuff without informing you. I tried to act pityful to gain his attention but somwhow, his friends were occupying him so much that he didn't notice my weird beheavior. The saddening part was that he didn't even notice when I started not replying him nor picking up his calls. Sometimes.... it just shows how 'important' you are, to a person. Sigh .... Am I overboard?

I ended up bringing Niki to Joreen's place to pass her those doggy stuff I bought from Bangkok. At least a reasonsable reason for me to sneak out. I know I can't stay at home.

You know something? I even thought of going down to lilys and venge my anger on him that very point of time! I think i'm crazy, having depression or something. But luckily, my brain is still in control..... I ended up forcing myself to sleep.........

I really don't know how my life ended up like that. The reason why I hate relationships is because of this hurtful feeling that I don't know how to overcome. And at some point of time, I even think of giving up this relationship to free my heart from the drepssing feeling.

I am a girl. I need a lot of attention and assurance.
The assurance he gave me verbally didn't match with his actions and therefore all those nonsense came out. And I can still feel the pain right now...

He came over my place after his session, reaching around 2am, half drunk. He couldn't even talk properly to me. I should have asked him to go home instead of seeing him this way. Make me so mad!! But I know he just want to show me that he cares. And he told me he's stressed out... THEN ME LEH! dislike.

Hais! I really don't know where has gone wrong. Am I too sensetive?

Trust Issues.

Its really hard for me to trust some one 100%.
Nothing is perfect in this world, and even with assurance, I will still doubt because words can be decieving, and I believe only what I see.

Thoughts will run wild, naturally, and you couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't really like this feeling but I chose let him go ahead because I love him. I don't want to implement restrictions because in a relationship, its all about compromising and how much you can accept the other party, and his/her friends and family.

And I know, if she is some one important to him, I should accept her and the relationship they share. Afterall, that makes him happy.

OKAY - I'm a good girl.
Back to work and STOP THINKING!!!

Standby Duty

I am starting my Standby Duty in one month's time and I am not prepared at all !

Standby Duty meaning, after office hours when a machine breaks down in countries among the South East Asia, we will have to arrange for repair immediately, to have the whatever part  that is broken down shipped to destination within the shortest time.

This is a 24-hour service provided by my company and we, the team of 7 mates, have to rotate our duties to serve our customer. Therefore, ...... Yes we'll have extra allowance, but understanding from all my colleagues that usually they will just stay at home in case there is any activation, and is usually stressed.

And the duty lasts for 7 days.
So for that one whole week, its best to stay at home.
I am looking forward, because of the allowance.

Papa & Son

Wintee keep moving about and therefore no photos of him are clear. T.T

Was finding time to bring the two rascals down for a walk but its been raining recently. But anyway, I brought them out to corridoor instead on regular basis. Some runs are good for them to release stress from cooping at home whole day. :D

They can play whole day at home without disturbing us (okay, they did occasionally), but at least Niki's getting better in coping with Wintee. He use to be so sticky that we can't do our own things even for 15mins. So... Having Wintee is a blessing. And they got along pretty well now. I'm so happy.

Finally... I'm still happy, after 50 days of being together with baby.

:D